What surprised me most wasn’t just the mental and emotional rigor of academics, but difficult it was to feel connected to others.
Patiemma Rubio
When I started graduate school at UC San Diego, I thought I knew what to expect. I had already been a Triton for two years, one of them being fully online during the pandemic. But my first quarter of grad school was a wake-up call. The workload was overwhelming: teaching, taking classes, conducting research, and trying to remember to take care of myself. I often wondered, “Why did I elect to do more school? I could be working a job and earning a paycheck like the friends I grew up with.”
What surprised me most wasn’t just the mental and emotional rigor of academics, but difficult it was to feel connected to others. My cohort and I were all just trying to stay afloat. Undergrad was structured and predictable, but grad school demanded a new kind of discipline and balance that I wasn’t prepared for.
The turning point came when I decided to join the Graduate and Professional Student Association (GPSA) as a social events coordinator. I undoubtedly had my reservations. Why add more to an already full plate? But I knew I wanted to build community, especially since I’d be here for several more years. Through GPSA, I organized events where students could step away from labs and classrooms, relax, and meet peers across different departments and programs. To my surprise, I wasn’t just helping others find community, I was building my own.
As an introverted, neurodivergent, first-generation graduate student, stepping into that role was far outside my comfort zone. But it gave me a sense of belonging I hadn’t expected and didn’t fully realize I needed. Seeing students from different backgrounds laugh, share stories, and connect reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this journey.
Fast forward to today: starting my fourth year, I’m now serving as President of GPSA. I never thought I’d be leading student government, but the choice to step outside my comfort zone has shaped my grad school experience in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
If I could give advice to my younger self—or to anyone feeling overwhelmed—it would be, challenges are inevitable but they will pass, and belonging takes time. Don’t be afraid to try something new or unfamiliar. Sometimes, the very step you’re nervous to take ends up leading you to incredible spaces.